This is a collection of some basic tips to follow when you unintentionally upset someone dear to you that I have researched over a period of time.
With a cool head, let's begin.
1. Don't force them to talk to you.
2. Give them time to cool down. They need to be left alone to be mad. If you act too soon (Recollecting yourself might be easier for you than it is for them to heal from the recent scar), it could just spark another fight and undo all your efforts.
3. You two cannot be angry at the same time. It is human nature to get defensive and retaliate when threatened. Resist this urge as best as you can!
Narated By AbuDharr : The Apostle of Allah (pbuh) said to us: When one of you becomes angry while standing, he should sit down. If the anger leaves him, well and good; otherwise he should lie down.
Abu Dawud Book 036, Hadith Number 4764
Narated By Abu Huraira : A man said to the Prophet , “Advise me! “The Prophet said, “Do not become angry and furious.” The man asked (the same) again and again, and the Prophet said in each case, “Do not become angry and furious.”
Sahih Bukhari , Book 073, Hadith 137
4. Apologise. Saying sorry is so important. Especially if you are not in the wrong. It shows as a major sign that you respect your partner and don't wish to prolong the silence. Some people may not see their mistakes and find apologising as shameful and a pinch to their ego, so it is up to the level-headed one to diffuse the situation before it is fueled any further, creating a mountain out of a mole hill. It is said to solve issues quicker.
5. Don't take any permanent actions. Hang tight! Don't make any rash decisions that you both could potentially regret later. Let the right time come to decide together what is to be done.
6. Don't become pushy or needy in any shape or form. If you try to pressure them about saving the relationship or about how you will ''change,'' it will only put them off. Don't go there unless the change is something practical and less sentimental e.g: Cleaning up the station or keeping to a set schedule.
..And Finally
Never beat yourself up about it. Give yourself some extra loving to prevent dangerous thoughts from creeping in. At the end of the day, they love you and you mean the world to them. So just build on it while they are away. Think carefully and don't judge matters too quickly. And when they finally make their way back, welcome them with a gentle, listening heart.
